{Realized}

Wondering how I got here. Not like I regret it. I don't regret anything I've done. I am where I want to be. I am with, who I want to be with. I am happy. I am actually, finally, happy.

{Journey}

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

{Hypocrisy}

I guess I am only the biggest hypocrit when it comes to love.

Often heard are the words,
"once a cheater, always a cheater"
"if he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you"

Funny how I have said those very things to my friends that have put their heart's in a compromising position.

However, when it has come to my own heart, and relationships... I have not.

I would like to believe that yes, he may have cheated with me, but he never cheated on me. All though it took place many moons ago, and I chalk it up to fatal attraction. Unstoppable love, unpreventable lust. I don't think he cheated on me.

Once a cheater always a cheater.... this I have yet to learn.
I'm taking notes. All though, he never in the true tense CHEATED on me.
He more or less cheated between me. Which to some isn't really cheating at all.
I believe he was cheating his heart. I believe people can change.

I think I believe people can change.
I think I believe he won't hurt me.
I think I believe I can believe in him.

Time will tell.

{DoubleTrouble}

Well officially 15 weeks into the safe zone.
That's right, 15 weeks out of 40.. well what is normally 40 weeks.
But this is no normal pregnancy... no no..
This is 2x the pregnancy. That's right, I've been blessed with twins.
<3

{blacksickness}

Somewhere inside the icy depths of a chest
that has long been stabbed,
faintly quivers
a heart with no purpose left to give.
Struggling to go beyond the pain,
in search for love again.
Fighting for the breath
it so desperately needs to live.
Love brought the murder of my peaceful heart
before it ever had the chance
to truly beat.
Now silence
overthrows my being
and a blindly
cherished
victory
is seen
more clearly
as defeat.
Beaten to misery
but not completely broken
is this organ that cries out for peace in the night.
Now that my heart has been stolen
this pen that I hold
yields no might.

{LastNight}

I tossed and turned and cried all night.
I couldn't breathe and I couldn't fight,
the tears kept falling, no matter how hard I tried.
I can't wrap my head around this misery,
and I can't control my sadness.
I can't let go of memories,
and I can't stop the madness.
All I've ever really really wanted,
is to feel wanted.

{X2}

I have loved you for a long time, never will i forget you.