Saturday, November 29, 2008

medicine and surgery can save me
what about you?
....nothing....that's what I thought
Who are you to judge the life I live? I know im not perfect and I dont live to be, but before you start pointing fingers Make sure your hands are clean♥

I think it's funny you denied it and denied it and swore up and down it would never happen, and now it totally is, you stupid fuck. yes YOU

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008

Knock knock Oh hi, how's it going? It's me! Every girl ever. I'm not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Let's start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment. You'll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There's my decorative birdcage over there even though I don't have a bird, and there's my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I ****ing love candles! I see you met my dog there. That's "Freddy Paws Jr." Why don't you pet him and act like you like dogs even though you hate dogs? Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he'll do that. Look at my refrigerator. Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we're really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that. We're holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture to prove that we were partying. But of course I don't talk to any of these girls anymore because now they're all ****es. Hey, before we leave I'm going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Be right back... Sorry that took a half an hour, I don't know what the hell I was doing in there. Let's go! Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I'm totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you're a really good guy because that's what I want to believe. Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don't need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I'll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. Now let's talk about my family. I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute! Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out. Hey, I've got an idea, let's go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! Oh hey, what a coincidence. It's a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you! Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine's so ugly she scares kids! I'm back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now. Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we're going to do it again sometime! Maybe I'll see you at Walmart a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that's as empty as my soul. Good night!

This disturbs me

AIDS official says that the: HIV virus is spreading fast in Russia

Steve Gutterman, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS


MOSCOW - A top Russian anti-AIDS co-ordinator has lambasted the government's approach to fighting HIV, saying the number of registered cases is growing 10 per cent a year despite increased federal funding.

Vadim Pokrovsky, head of the state-funded Federal AIDS Centre which is charged with co-ordinating efforts, points to a misguided focus on treatment instead of prevention.

He says it has undermined efforts to combat AIDS.

Pokrovsky says Russia still has no national policy on fighting AIDS.

Each day about 130 new cases are registered in Russia.

Pokrovsky estimates there are more than a million Russians infected with HIV - or almost one per cent of the country's 142 million population.

Officially, Russia has registered less than half that number at 470,000.

A large number are young drug users infected by dirty needles or tainted communal drug supplies, experts say.

However, widespread social stigmas, misinformation and official denial mean many people remain unaware they are at risk of being infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

Some regional governors "have simply refused to acknowledge the problem of AIDS," Pokrovsky said Friday.

Others, assuming higher spending would make the problem go away, have done little to publicize the problem, he said.

"Everyone needs to understand that this is a threat to the nation, and it's necessary to mobilize as one would for war," Pokrovsky said.

He urged the government to devise a clear strategy for informing citizens about HIV, and said funding would have to be used more wisely for results.

Starting in 2006, the government - enriched with oil-boom proceeds - exponentially increased funding for the battle against AIDS as part of a push to improve health care and stem Russia's population decline.

The government says budget spending for HIV-related activities last year amounted to 10.7 billion rubles ($445 million) and was more than 50 times higher than in 2005.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Horoscope

There are so many big things in transition now that it's hard to pick just one and talk about it. In these days prior to Thursday's Sagittarius New Moon, you need to look back into your past and deep into your soul for the truths that can guide your life into the future. Keep in mind that you don't have to tell anyone about your inner journey today; it's yours and yours alone.

All the right reasons

Normally I'd be upset or mad, about the things I see of you
but I have realized that you don't make me happy.
You make me feel bad for things I didn't do,
You force me to admit things that I know are untrue.
You pushed and pushed, acting like you're the only one
You didn't realize, my number 1 is my son.
You felt that only you could be affected by all these things,
didn't stop to think about the toll it's taken on me.
I'm the one going through it, it is my life that is changing,
rearranging,
to fit this society of normality wtf is that anyways.
I'm glad I had the chance to love you
I'm even more glad I had the chance to let you go.
You only would have pulled me down

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

HiPhOp LoVe <3

I introduce to you
Edwords and Moofeek



Their Music Makes Me Hot
Listen

http://ursession.com/edWORDS

Goodbye

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I can live without you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

fuck you

u have been thinking about the big picture -- something you do very well -- yet today it's time to turn your grandiose ideas into action. Fortunately, courageous Mars is in your adventurous sign now, giving you plenty of energy to accomplish your goals. You are standing at the edge of a very dynamic period of growth, so don't hesitate to do whatever is necessary.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I don't have to wonder anymore
I don't have to care
You are free to do what you want
and I have no say.

nor can I share
my day with you
or tell you how I feel
you'll probably just shut me out
and that is fair and real.

It's probably for the best..
this way.
There's no more tears
and no more fears
more importantly..

I don't have to wonder
I don't have to care

Sunday, November 16, 2008

where did you go

Horoscope

It's as if you took extra vitamins today, for your energy level is high and can soar even higher if you are willing to let go of your past. Mars is now in your sign until December 27, revving up your motor and supplying you with extra fuel. Don't procrastinate; it's your time to start something fabulous.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

{RandomFact}

One of Hewlett Packard's first ideas was an automatic urinal flusher

Horoscope

You can see right through other people's smokescreens today and the more they deny the truth of your observation, the more transparent they become. Still, you need to exercise a bit of caution around your assumptions, for you could jump to an incorrect conclusion. It's best to take your logic slowly and carefully now. One step at a time is much wiser than leaping ahead too soon.

Friday, November 14, 2008

I can only allow myself to follow these empty halls of heart valves for so long
Up and down these vein wide stair wells
Open my eyes, as they are so black with hate I can not see
Guilt consumes these vocal cords
just give a little push.
like a pin, into a cork board,
I feel the pressure on my heart
to give way and let the sharp cold tip push through
this loveless life, hung high for all to see
love for all but me
please just let me be

Thursday, November 13, 2008

It takes a good friend, to say you've got your head up your ass

{RandomFact}

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike each year than all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined

Sunday, November 9, 2008

That didn't work.

you have been withholding your feelings, today may be a good day to start letting them out. You aren't being well-served by bottling up your emotions because they will continue to intensify as the pressure builds. It's surely better to act consciously now than to erupt with a tantrum later on. Find an honest way to express yourself without losing your temper.




I'm proud you are taking the proper steps to positive changes
I'm sad I can't be a part of them.
And Yes it is my fault.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

I am

I'm someone filled with self-belief
And haunted by self-doubt
I've got all the answers
I've got nothing figured out
I like to be by myself
I hate to be alone
I'm up and I am down
But that's part of the thrill of who I am!

I hate this part

Horoscope

You may feel an underlying tension beginning to grow, yet it doesn't need to negatively affect your day. Suppressing your emotions, though, will surely increase your apprehension. The most intelligent strategy is to talk about your feelings without being attached to any specific outcome. This allows you to grow closer to a friend without placing him or her in an awkward position of having to react in a certain manner...

If only possible
I just can't do it anymore,
I can't sit here while you break me down.
While you put your blame on someone else,
While you make excuses because you think you can't.

You are strong, and amazing,
just believe and you shall see

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Horoscope

You can see relationship trouble brewing quite clearly now, yet you may not be able to say much about it. If there is a problem between you and your spouse or partner, it's not going to go away until you address it directly. Still, it may be better to wait for circumstances to improve. In the meantime, do what you can to stabilize things so there will be common ground to meet upon.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Horoscope

It's hard to stay positive when those close to you let you down. But keep in mind that you may be placing unrealistic expectations on others that, in turn, set you up for disappointment. Instead of just lowering your standards, try talking to those with whom you must work. Hashing out differences of perspective, even if it's uncomfortable, is better than losing money or friends.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Horoscope

You could make it all look easy today, but inside you are probably stressing more than usual. These are difficult times, for you are being pulled in opposite directions and neither option is perfect. Ultimately, you'll need to stop the analysis and just make a choice. Remember, it's usually best to choose love over fear.